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Can't Get There From Here
the complete collected writings that have not won awards

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In this book of more than 50 humor columns and other writings, Jeff Tompkins battles a killer spider, has a medical professional assault his eyeballs, identifies the oddest job in the world, searches for a place to live and offers some suggestions to make spelling bees more exciting.

Go inside a giant fiberglass hot dog on wheels, as Jeff describes his ride in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

Readers will find out what happens when you Google yourself too much, how to avoid being helped by a disgusting deli employee and why you shouldn’t bring a frozen mouse to work.

This book also contains a number of classified C.I.A. documents. That number is: zero.

Steve Martin says, “This is the funniest collection of humor pieces I’ve read in a long time.” (Legal disclaimer: Not the famous Steve Martin. This is the Steve Martin who lives down the street from the author and was not paid very much to say that.)

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Jeff Tompkins is a writer from Charleston, SC. His articles have appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, Reuters, Nielsen and Charleston's Free Times, among others. You can find him on Twitter and sometimes on his blog. In his spare time, Jeff does not enjoy boating or playing golf or anything like that. Can't Get There From Here is his first book. He is currently working on a novel set in 1980s suburban America.